Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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