I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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