Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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