Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
