Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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