it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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