He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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