it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
