why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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