? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He felt like a one man threesome
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
