So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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