Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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