His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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