I want to stick my p in your. b.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
