just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
