dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
