If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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