I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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