he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize