I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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