Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
