i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He did a backflip because drugs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
