the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
