The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
