You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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