So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
