I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
