proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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