i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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