Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
