this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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