he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
