Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it's like heaven, but drunker
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
