Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
