just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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