Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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