i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
