So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
