i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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