So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
