Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
