She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
