Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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