Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
