I must be too annoying 4 u.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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