Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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