Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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