Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
