i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
