I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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