omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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