The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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