at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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