I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize