It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
