just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
