It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
