He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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